This article is from August 1889 and it's a real treat. It's got some great lines, let's start with this one:
"The pleasure party were mostly young men and women, and they had a rare day's sport dancing, bathing and boating, and none were anticipating a scene of violence and bloodshed."
All right, so you know things are going to get ugly. Here's the next sentence --
"The gayest man in the party was Mr. Frank L. Husbands,"
Okay, let me step in for a sec -- when they said he was the "gayest" man at the party, I don't think they meant it the way it sounds today, 110 years later. Okay, we resume:
"The gayest man in the party was Mr. Frank L. Husbands, togged out in duck trousers, navy blue vest, sash, cream colored flannel shirt, cardinal necktie and white linen hat, a splendid contrast to a rainbow."
{chuckle} On second thought . . .
Okay, you've got this guy, Frank Husbands and he's pretty new to Woodhaven. He's working at the Lalance & Grossjean factory and, according to the article he "is really a good looking young man" and the young women were all looking to attract his attention. However, it appears he was "mixed up in many scandals."
For example: "About two years ago a lodge of Good Templars was organized in Woodhaven. Mr. Husbands became a member and was elected chief templar. The majority of the members were ladies. Mr. Husbands was a model chief for a time. He resided in a part of a double house, a family of two interesting daughters residing in the other half. These young ladies were members of the lodge. "One night," said a friend of the ladies, "Husbands was found on top of a piazza trying to open a window to their room. He said it was a mistake. He had been drinking and having to climb the roof to get into the house mistook the window.""
{chuckle} What a cad! And though it was a scandal, all he had to do was promise to quit drinking and all was forgiven. And now we introduce Charles H. Lewis . . .
Mr. Lewis was a hero who once saved a passenger train from sinking into Jamaica Bay. He and Mr. Husbands had both been trying to woo the lovely young daughter of Van Wyck Boerum -- a battle which Mr. Lewis won! However, at some point he left his wife and her father swore out a complaint against him and he ended up in prison. And it turns out that it was Mr. Husbands who was pulling the strings, advising Mr. Boerum on what to do. This is like a soap opera, isn't it?
Anyway, Mr. Lewis -- in recognition of his heroic character -- was released and he took back his wife to avoid further legal troubles. So, now the question is -- why did Mr. Lewis leave his wife in the first place? Well . . .
"The cause of the trouble was Husbands. Mrs. Lewis made an excursion to Rockaway Beach on May 26. She did not reach home until the next day. She told her husband that she had spent the night with her cousin, Miss Nettie Boerum, who was a telegraph operator in the railroad company's office. Mr. Lewis kept receiving tips which threw discredit on Mrs. Lewis' explanation. He found out that she was in Mr. Husbands' company at the beach and that he entertained her royally."
He entertained her royally? I'll bet! Anyway, to make a long story short, Mr. Husbands' confessed to the royal entertainment and Mr. Lewis threatened to sue -- but before long he took matters into his own hands. Back to the beginning of this story -- the excursion and boating and duck trousers . . . Mr. Lewis went to the train station and waited . . .
"At sight of his enemy the lion was stirred within Mr. Lewis and he attacked him fiercely. He caught Mr. Husbands by the throat and proceeded to batter his face. Mr. Husbands cried "Murder!" and called for Mr. Johnson (his friend) to save him. The ladies ran away screaming. The men stood aghast. Not a person attempted to restrain Mr. Lewis. His right handers did terrific execution on Mr. Husbands' face. He made no show at fighting back. Mr. Lewis drew blood with every blow. He threw his victim down and jumped on him and kicked him, then fell upon him and hammered his face with both fists. It was as brutal a beating as one man ever gave another."
In other words, he kicked his ass . . . royally.
"He was a sorry spectacle. Dr. Combs was summoned to attend him. Today he could barely see out of either eye. His nose is the size of a rutabaga turnip. His face is black and blue, his lips cut and swollen and some of his teeth are loose. Dr. Combs has fears that his nose is broken, but cannot determine the point until the swelling subsides. It will be some time before Mr. Husbands will figure in society again.
Mr. Lewis was at work as usual today."
And there you have it, ladies and gentlemen. A tale of vengeance, with sex and violence and . . . royal entertainment. Right here in Woodhaven . . .
Train fare to the Rockaways... 15 cents.
A new pair of duck trousers... 2 dollars.
Getting your ass kicked and having people read about it on the Internet 110 years later... priceless!
Read the entire article here:
http://projectwoodhaven.com/Noir/paid-in-blood.jpg
This is hilarious!
Posted by: Vance B Barbour | 03/23/2009 at 07:18 PM
LOL Isn't it? I'd love to find out what happened to Mr. Husbands -- did this beat down cure him of being a cad? Or did he return to his ne-er do well ways?
Posted by: ProjectWoodhaven | 03/24/2009 at 04:58 AM